In our discussion of homosocial male bonding through sex and sex talk, we determined that the affirmation of masculinity between men is more important than the sex they are discussing/having. Male virility is a performance for one another, and “straightness” is discourse constructed by the male friends. Unfortunately, this makes it difficult for many of the men to have positive sexual relationships with the women in their lives (including wives) because their experience of intimacy are entirely homosocial. Women become invisible or at the very least props in the homosocial discourse which constructs their masculinity.
How much does intention matter when hybrid masculinities still reproduce power structures? Can masculinity and power ever be separated?
Audre Lorde wrote, “The master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house”. The only method of dismantling a patriarchal power structure
is through a thorough exploration of how we behave within that structure. So while these inclusive masculinities might be less power oriented
they must also be deconstructed because they are a part of the patriarchal system. It is difficult to engage in a compassionate,
but self-conscious 🤔 of the power structures in which we all reside, but necessary in order to understand how these structures oppress all people.