My mother was sitting outside in a white plastic chair next to the makeshift dinning area we have made in our yard. She had always wanted to have an outdoor area to host family and friends, and now we finally have it except we cannot invite anyone. When she saw me, she invited me to look at some pictures with her. I was on my way to walk my dog, but I decided to stay for a couple of minutes. My mother was flipping through pictures she had in the original Walgreens envelope she had gotten them in after they were developed. This envelope had pictures of my graduation from pre-school, an event I have no memory of.

As my mom handed me certain pictures, she would make comments about the people I was posing next to. “This was your favorite teacher,” she said after handing me a picture of me in my maroon gown and white cap with a woman behind me. My older cousins, aunts, grandparents and parents were at the celebration. One of my cousins even gave a speech at the event. I have some vague memories of my time at the pre-school. But are they actually mine? At different points in my life, my mom and I have done this same activity. She finds an old picture, and she shows it to me and tells me a story related to it. Perhaps my memories of this time of my life are actually images I have made based on those stories and not of the moments themselves.

The picture that caught my eye was a picture of my grandmother and I at a restaurant which was down the street from my pre-school. I saw many pictures of my grandmother in the two envelopes my mom had. I had never noticed that in many pictures taken towards the end of her life, she did not look at the camera. It was as if someone had taken the picture without telling her. I grew up with my grandmother. My parents always joke that I started drinking coffee since I was a baby because I would constantly be in my grandma’s lap. I would reach out at anything my grandmother would eat or drink, and she would often just give me a spoonful. She loved her coffee, so she would give me some from time to time.

All of the subjects and objects in the image have changed since that picture was taken. The laundromat in the back of us is not longer open. I have obviously grown and changed. The restaurant we were in no longer exists. My grandmother is not longer with us. She did not get to see me graduate from high school, and she will not get a chance to see me graduate college. Thus, it made me really happy to know we shared this moment together. She was proud of me then, and I know if she could see me now, she would be proud of the person I have become.