by Paris Wilson
Talking about wealth is uncomfortable. It can act as a barrier between people, separating the poor from the rich, and creating economic classes. This is not inherently problematic, but the implications that stem from how much money one has reaches into all parts of our life. It creates social groups of people who have commonalities, such as having the same level and quality of education, working the same types of jobs, doing the same kinds of activities, and owning the same material goods. This ultimately leads to the formation of distinct socioeconomic groups that share similar lifestyle traits. Generally, with more money comes more opportunities and experiences, and this privilege excludes those who do not have sufficient funds. This disparity of wealth naturally breeds inequality, which more often than not pushes people away than brings them together and causes feelings of unease. This has manifested the social norm of the active avoidance of topics about wealth or economic standing. Through our research from interviewing several Bowdoin students, we strove to seek answers to why talking about wealth feels so uncomfortable.
Socioeconomic classes on campus encompass a wide range. This can be recognized through Bowdoin’s student financial aid packages since Bowdoin awards and grants are need-based versus merit-based. Some students receive a full ride, while others do not even receive financial aid since they can pay the full tuition. This disparity can make it difficult to broach the subject of wealth, as everyone’s financial background is different. Conversations about wealth are often avoided because of this incompatibility of socioeconomic status. One student expressed her discomfort talking to people who are above her middle class:
“If [I’m talking to] someone within my socioeconomic status, it’s definitely a lot easier [to talk about wealth]. My family is middle class, but we weren’t always middle class, so talking to someone who’s very upper class or comes from a prep school is… Like, I don’t really say anything in that conversation. It’s usually just them talking. And even if I do [start talking], there’s always a sense of awkwardness or tension, because they get defensive, or I get defensive.”
As this student said, discussions about wealth can easily take a bad turn when people might take things the wrong way or feel as though they have to defend their stance. A different speaker also mentioned that she often would stay quiet to avoid the topic. This silent discomfort can also be perceived:
“[When people are uncomfortable when wealth is brought up,] they start to withdraw from the conversation, or you can see their facial expressions change. You can definitely tell just by the way another person’s body language or face changes, or they start not really engaging in the conversation as much.”
Not only does wealth cause people emotional discomfort, it often translates to their physical presentation as well.
Another reason why the topic of wealth is so often avoided is that people are worried about what others will think of them based on their class or what opinions they have on wealth. Upon being asked if our interview was uncomfortable, the respondent said that the most questionable part was when we asked questions that made her wonder about our status:
“I feel like the uncomfortable part came up when I’m not sure what your guys’ economic backgrounds are and what you will think. I think that’s why a lot of wealth conversations stop. It’s because of that fear of what other people will think about you. And I think that’s what prevents them from happening.”
Another student also voices similar feelings, saying that “Going into any normal conversation, I would still have a lot of anxiety [talking about wealth] because I don’t know what they’re going to say back to me.” These two accounts demonstrate the fact that talking about wealth can be tricky because of the fear of other people’s judgments or perceptions based on what one says or indicates about their status.
The most common response to why talking about wealth is so hard was that students were afraid of hurting someone by being insensitive or saying the wrong thing. One student who categorizes herself in the upper class explains that her reluctance to talk about wealth comes from not wanting to say the wrong thing:
“I just want to make sure I’m being sensitive and that’s really where any anxiety comes from [when discussing wealth]. It’s not really me feeling anxious about how much money my family has; it’s me being anxious that I’m going to say something that’s going to hurt somebody else.”
Almost everyone we interviewed shared the same viewpoint of not wanting to be caught in a situation where they have said something that could insult or demean another person. This fear of being wrong has perhaps gotten in the way of meaningful conversations across contrasting socioeconomic backgrounds.
One interviewee mentioned that bringing up the topic of wealth is so deviant that he might be so taken aback if someone were to randomly ask him about it:
“If this wasn’t for the point of a project, and you just randomly came up to me, like, ‘hey, so what do you think about wealth?’ You know, that’s weird. I don’t know… [I’d probably be like,] ‘I’ma walk away now.’”
However, the same student later stated that he would not be opposed to these kinds of discussions, and feels comfortable in talking about wealth, but that since it is such a rare conversation, he would not be the one to necessarily bring it up:
“If anyone wants to talk to me, I’m an open book about pretty much everything. I’d be comfortable having similar conversations like this in the future, but also, if it doesn’t happen, then it doesn’t happen.”
Some students believe that coming to Bowdoin has actually helped them increase their comfort of discussing wealth or at least has caused them to think about more. In the case of one student, this is because the wide variety of socioeconomic statuses has forced her to put her privilege in perspective with people above and below her:
“For me, it’s been easier now [after coming to Bowdoin to talk about wealth] because I’ve learned more about other people and also about myself. Being able to talk to other people about [wealth] helps me realize my own privilege.”
Disparities in people’s status can be difficult when it comes to having the courage to discuss wealth, but it can also cause people to become more aware of what they have and be more understanding once they see a broader perspective. Living in a place like Bowdoin where economic backgrounds are from the entire spectrum can actually free up one’s mind to be more open to others’ experiences and circumstances.